It is no secret that relationships take work, commitment, and have plenty of ups and downs and for them to be successful both parties need to put in the effort. We are all unique in our own way and when two people come together in a consensual, committed relationship we need to understand that the gelling of two personalities may not always be smooth, to begin with.
Sometimes couples get together simply by being familiar and in the same work environment daily, and then when a change occurs it throws things out of sorts and suddenly you aren’t sure how you got to where you are or if they are the person you thought they were.
Workplace relationships are common, see here https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2019/02/14/these-6-surprising-office-romance-stats-should-be-a-wake-up-call-to-organizations/?sh=3867f5f423a2 for an interesting article on the topic, but that doesn’t go to say that they can’t work outside of the office or be a long-term success story. If you are at a top-level in your company it not only indicates that you are valued but that you will need to put in the man-hours to show why you were put into that position in the first place. This leaves little to no time to meet people outside of the workspace and so you begin to get friendly with your co-workers.
Once you are in a relationship it would be naïve to think that it will be picture perfect the whole time, that there will be no arguments or disagreements, and if there aren’t then you should be worried too, someone is not being their true self. If nothing is ever an issue or there is nothing that bothers the other person the majority of the time then it is time to look at why that is, re-evaluate where you stand, and do you want the same things for the future.
Professional help.
We could all use a helping hand from time to time irrespective of why or how, it can never all be done alone, and if professionals can help you and your partner make sense of this confusing period you are finding yourself in, then what have you got to lose? You either discover what is causing the other to feel a certain way, or you realize that you are not on the same page in the idea for your future and you can agree to part ways amicably.
The main objective is to conclude on how to move forward or get closure on your existing chapter. Take a moment to click here and think about whether the option of seeing someone, with your partner, to talk things through could help your relationship and if possible bring you closer together. It is always better to have tried and failed than to not have tried at all, as the famous quote goes which beautifully lends its hand to all aspects of life.
Choosing a therapist.
The first name that comes up in the search engine, as a result, is an option to consider for a therapist, but what might be better is to look for someone local, who has been practicing successfully for many years, and has experience in dealing with couples counseling and other life issues.
There are a few fundamentals you can look for if you are new to the therapy scene, so let’s see what to keep in mind and be aware of.
- In the initial appointment and consultation, you want to feel somewhat of a connection with the therapist, that you would feel comfortable talking to them about personal issues, and they make you feel relaxed.
- Honesty. We are all human at the end of the day, and if someone doesn’t know something whether they are a professional or not, they should have the authenticity to admit it but give us the confidence that they will find the solution. This is all we can ask for. It is impossible to know everything there ever was, right? Practicing honesty in therapy will help you far more than trying to avoid the subject or worse, lie about details.
- Positivity. You need someone who has the professional expertise to help you grow to be a better person. Find someone who positively reinforces you, values your beliefs, and respects you enough to tell you as it is rather than sugarcoat the whole experience and you learn and gain nothing from it.
- Specialty. Finding a therapist who specializes in and who is very familiar with your situation is much more advantageous than a general therapist, so this could help to narrow down your search when looking for a counselor to help you and your partner overcome this life hurdle.
- Certification. This may seem like an obvious point to make but many people forget that the person they speak to should be licensed to offer professional and sometimes life-changing advice without causing harm to the patient. This means they will have studied years on how to approach and evaluate various situations rather than someone who likes to talk and give their opinion without regarding the consequences and impact of their words.
A firm you can trust such as Skylark counselling may help make you a better person by talking through why you think you aren’t, often a non-judgmental ear is all we want to help us move forward.
Be your best self.
We all deserve to be happy whether we are in a relationship or not, but it is so much nicer to come home to someone you love and trust to share your news and excitement with. Take the time to live in the moment, look at your partner and remember why you fell in love with them (see some quick tips here https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a19967963/know-if-your-relationship-is-great-in-60-seconds/) and what features make you want to be with them all the time.
Sharing a great moment or memory with your other half makes the joy that much sweeter, and hearing their support for your idea or seeing their interest in your conversation makes it all worthwhile.
